Hi, is there anyone still on here? I know lots of people have moved their blogs over to other things. I was thinking about posting on live journal again, if I can remember to. But if there are no reader I might not bother.

Update:

Still no job.
Engaged to Puck.
My cats are wonderful.
I went to Montreal and Disney this month, and both were wonderful.

So my 30th Birthday is coming up, and there should be several celebrations of one sort of another. One of which will be a dinner, to which anyone who wants to come is invited. Keep in mind, that big group dinners like this, sometimes restaurants are weird, and will not break up the check, or take several cards, so bring cash, unless I check and find out otherwise.

My Birthday is July 3rd, which falls on a Friday.


Poll #1415686 Date
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 4

What day could you make it to a dinner?

Poll #1415687 Place
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 5

Where would you want to go?

If you have any other ideas for a good place to go, or a more interesting plan than just dinner, comment. I am open to suggestions. There also might be such birthday fun as going dancing, or an outdoors adventure. I will put a list of gifts I might want up here later, in case you feel the need to buy me something, keep in mind of course that gifts are not mandatory, unless you have sex with me.

Do you like leeks? Do you want some, especially if you live or work near me? I have leeks to give away, big, beautiful, green leeks. I have to thin the garden, but I really don't want to waste them. Also, I have parsley and cilantro if you want that.


On a completely unrelated note, we are going to the renfair tomorrow. I think I mean it this time. You can come if you want, it would be cool. You can even buy me a present.

So its the middle of he night, and I am very awake. I am not sure if this is because I am used to sleeping with Puck, and he is away (which would be sad, I don't want co-dependant sleep patterns), or(I tend to get a bit of insomnia around then, but this is a little early for that). Either way, I am awake, and bored. I would watch a movie on my ipod, but it is down stairs, and I just don't want to leave the bed right now. I guess I will go to Hulu after this. I have things on my mind too.

Interview

The interview went ok, but I am conflicted to if I would take the job if it was offered. The drive will be about an hour each way, best I can figure. Maybe more. And the guy who interviewed me seems to be one of those people don't matter types. The position I interviewed for is to replace two part-time people, and he told me he just let go the IT person, because it was cheaper to outsource. I get that, bottom line is king, but it made me feel uncomfortable. Also this is a 5 day a week, no working from home sort of thing, and I don't like being part of the problem. On the other hand, I really, really, really, really need a job. I can barely make it on the unemployment, which will be gone very soon. What I really would like is a job near emory, or in midtown, or anyplace near the train. Accounting, analyst, admin, data entry, clerical. I don't care what, or even so much how it pays, just that it is close.


Connection to people

I figured that once the winter was over I would start feeling more connected and interested in people. And I do a little, but not to the level I think is normal. I still find that I like being alone more than I ever have in years. Some of my friends had an all weekend party, and generally I would have been in for the long haul, instead I only went for about half a day, and I found myself a little uncomfortable with all the people. There were a few people I did not know, or that I just knew a little, and I had 0% urge to speak to them. I sort of feel disconnected from my friends too. There are several things that are making me feel this way, some of them leaving team poly, me not being a part of Alchemy this year, them making lots of new friends. I just feel sort of out of place. This is not, by the way, a cry for help or anything, just 4 AM thinking.

Future Career

I want to teach. I think that would be a good job for me. I like teaching and the schedule appeals to me. I loved being in school so much, I like semester, everything having a set end and beginning. Working in the cooperate world is not really my thing. I am going to do it again, because I need more experience, but after that, I am going to try teaching. I should have enough money to sign up for my CPA exam really soon (I have been saving here and there for a while now) after that I am going to do what needs to be done to get my Master's Degree. I am trying to pick between Accounting, Economics and Finance. With just a Master's in any of these fields, I should be able to teach at a smaller or community college at least on an adjunct level. Then I can work on a PhD. if I feel the need.


I wish the sun would come up. Awake and doing stuff in the dark feels weird.

Yay- I have a job interview tomorrow
Meh-It is in Alpharetta

Yay-I made homemade yogurt this weekend
Meh-I wasted a bit of milk figuring it out.

Yay-My garden is doing grand.
Meh-All the rain pisses off my Strawberries

Yay-My house is close to clean finally
Meh-It will get dirty again

Yay-I should have time to work on crafts tonight and Friday.
Meh-That is because Puck is out of town, until Saturday.

Yay-I lost a few more pounds.
Meh-I was not even dieting, and frankly that pisses me off. I should loss weigh when dieting, and not when not dieting. But I hold steady or lose very little when I try hard sometimes. It is like my weigh is random.

Yay- I have several good stories written.
Meh- But not edited, so I can't send them to anyone yet.

Yay- My bills are nicely under control
Meh-Unemployment runs out really soon

Hi.

Do any of you have potatoes with eyes in your pantry? I planted my potatoes a little to early, and they were thriving before that frost. For a while I thought they might still make it, but sadly, I think they are all dead now (my tomatoes, which looked horrible, bounced back just fine, go figure). I don't have much time to seed more potatoes, and I only have a few cranberry red from last year, that would be plantable. (I used all the promising ones the first time around, I am lucky I even held on to a few), so if anyone has a seeded potato or two they could spare, that would be really, really grand. I have eight spots for potatoes, and I would say I have maybe three candidates.

I have been very inside myself. Everything I am doing is going on in my head. Lazy too. I watch tv, read, sometimes play on the internet, and that is about it. I don't get it, this lack of motivation and focus. Is it just because I don't have a job? Is it because it is winter. I am going to try to do things today, and blog about them, that way maybe knowing that others will know how lazy I am will make me work harder.

I am making curtains for my dining room and living room, I have done the first set (purple), now I will work on blue. The idea is different fabrics, colors, and thicknesses of strips.

Before: January 29 1:49pm



After same day 4:30pm

Garden
I have been getting my garden ready, which is much fun, and some hard work. I put some seeds in the little starter thing on Saturday, and the tomato ones are already so big that they need to be moved. They are tall and thin and ready to fall over, so I will get some soil, and move them to flats or starter pots tonight. What is up with that? I generally fail at going plants form seed for this reason, they grow up, way faster then they grow out, they can't support themselves and they fall over. I am hoping moving them, planting them all the way down fixes this. I very much need to finish my second set of side walk gardens this weekend, so I can plant in them in a few weeks. I know I am taking a risk starting so early, but if it works out, it will pay off, I will get tomatoes before it gets to hot and dry, so they will be lots and good quality. Or there will be a freeze and everything will die and I will have to restart the game.

Movies and TV
I saw Repo: The Genetic Opera a few days ago. It was quite good, I loved the costumes. And Anthony Head was amazing. I had only heard him sing on Buffy a few time, and I liked him there. Speaking of Buffy I have been watching that again, and I am in season 6, and still just as annoyed as I was the last time I watched it. How come the watchers council does not pay Buffy? They have tons of money, she puts her life on the line for their cause every day, so why don't they make up so fake organization, say she is the secretary and pay her lots of money, so she can keep being the slayer full time? It does not make sense for her to work fast food. Also why does Giles leave? The job of the watcher is to teach, help, and watch the slayer. He is supposed to say with her until she dies, and keep a journal of it for later watchers and slayers. They should send someone else if he does not want to do it, just for the journal part, it is like Joss knew where he was taking the show in Season 7, and decided not to bother with doing it correctly. Except for the sex scenes with Spike, Season 6 is horrible. Spike is they only thing that moves the story along, and Buffy spends most of her time whining and crying about him, flip floping between "I hate him, he is evil, I should not want him" and "It is wrong to use him". Why over think it Buffy? You have the lame even though you are my hero. I started watching Angel for the first time this week, and so far all I have to say is that sure is alot of Angel to deal with. I hear it gets better, but really a guy shots his teeth at someone.
Oh, started watching Citizen Kane last night, been putting that off for a while, because I was afraid it would be boring (lots of older movies are), but it is great so far, I am really interested in the story. I really wish I did not know the whole rosebud thing, that takes something away.

Job stuff

I am going to try to volunteer for the IRS doing taxes for low income people this year, but getting in touch with the right people is hard. I wish I had known about this sooner, it might be to late for me to get certified now. Nothing on the job front. I really thought something would come up in January, and it has not, and I feel sort of cheated. I know that is stupid, but it is how I feel. I feel like I did my part, so it should just happen. I put in the time at school, I made the good grades, I got the degree, I wrote the resume, I got some job experience, so now- Job. That is the way it works. Meh. I have been really, really depressed the last few weeks. I think it has more to do with this lack of job situation than anything else.

I am slowly teaching myself to sew. Mostly I have made tea towels and curtains. But last week I made a skirt. I have trouble with patterns, so I got a book that tells you how to figure things out without patterns, and it worked pretty good.



I even made a button hole



The skirt came out pretty nice, and I like it except for one problem I had. It was a drawstring skirt, so I had to fold the top over to make a waistband for the draw string to go in. No matter how many times I did this, it would always pucker, or make a little unintentional pleat thing. Until this last part I had so much fun, but after sewing, seam ripping, and sewing again this part I was getting very pissed. I was also damaging the fabric so I decided to stop.

This is what the problem spots look like...



Does anyone know why this happens, and how to fix it?

I am not sure why I feel the need to do an update, as nothing has really changed that would be of much interest to anyone. I just figured maybe someone out there was thinking "I wonder if Kitty is dead", so since this imaginary person is interested, here is a post.

I still don't have a job, or even any job leads, some one told me that 75% of jobs, or something like that, are got through friends/networking. I suck at networking. I ordered these stupid personal business card (like a mini-resume), now I realized it was a waste of $30, and I have no one to give them to. I have 5 recruiters, and none of them can even get me interviews. Meaning one of three things, they are lazy, the economy really, really sucks, or I really, really suck. At first I was leaning on number two, now I am not so sure. I have unemployment until March, and then I will be saying hello to food service again.

I realized something yesterday, which came as a shock to me. For the last few months, a couple days a month I would have trouble sleeping, get headaches, be up all night with this strange pain in my back, I would throw up sometimes. I talked to a few people to try to figure it out. I was thinking maybe my gallbladder, maybe bad ulcers. Yesterday I realized that these strange symptoms all come right before and in the first few days of my period. I have fucking PMS. I bought my first ever box of midol yesterday, at 29 God damn years old. This is stupid. I have always had hormonal mood swings, you know anger, crying. But headaches, fatigue, bloating. I figured all that shit was a myth. I am going to get to the bottom on this, and make it stop. I think maybe my weight has something to do with it. Then again, it did not happen when I was really fat. It is something to think about, I will keep a food journal, it could be too much sodium, or not enough water.

Puck and I are going to see Dr. Faustus this Friday at 7:30 pm. This should be a really interesting show. It is done in the round, with only two actors. It should be creepy. If anyone is free, please come. If you want to sit with us, we have main floor seats. Just let me know if you are coming and I will get a table big enough for everyone.

http://www.shakespearetavern.com/#

I keep waiting for inspiration to hit, and it just doesn’t. I used to write all the time. I remember asking for a type writer when I was about 9 or 10, and I wrote all sorts of stories. I am not saying they were good, I am just saying they were. There was something so freeing about writing. To create a person, a world, a story. That is a powerful feeling. Now I don’t write. That is not to say I don’t have story ideas. I have lots of ideas, I just don’t write them. I think about them, I watch them like a movie in my head, but when it comes time to write, I just don’t. I have been setting aside time every day, in which I try to write. So far it is not great, the stories start but don’t end. The words come so slowly, or not at all.
Hence this entry. I have to write something. And my one good fiction idea right now does not want to be written. So I write a journal entry, maybe it will shake lose whatever is wrong with my brain.
You will however get poetry. When you can’t write, write poetry, I always say.

Wild, Weaver, Worm

I look out at the gray, it feels forever I have waited.
It is not my time, the worm must be sated.
I will wait while you eat, planning my part.
Reading books to feed my hungry heart.

I know to respect you, as you do what you are.
I know to be wary that you don’t go too far.
Ours is a dance, and may it always be
The worm, the wild, the weaver makes three.

Your job is to destroy, that which I build.
Her job is birth, that which you have killed.
My job is to gather her magic, like string.
From beautiful Chaos, It is order I bring.

A gift of magic, laid in the ground.
All I have to do is bring it round.
Soft to touch, warm and sweet to smell.
You will never stop giving if I treat you well.

My hands will be stained, my nails will break,
But for you this is a price I am happy to take.
I love you both, she who breaks and she who mend.
You are all life given, and all that ends.

Let us dance, ladies, this is my greatest desire.
Form ash is born wood, from wood is born fire.
From the fire of creation, all that can will be,
The worm, the wild, the wearer makes three.

***************

And to sort of belie everything I just wrote about. A few weeks ago, I harvested my Brusselsprouts thinking that it would be the final harvest. But it looks like the garden might have a Christmas gift in store form me.

Broccoli!!!!!!





I thought for sure the frost got you guys, I am so happy.

And one wee Cauliflower beastie.

I love and hate Christmas shopping. If I have a set gift in mind, and I can go in, buy it, and get out, then I have no problems. The hunting method is great for me and Christmas shopping. The gathering method (when you know who you want to buy for, but not what) does not work for me. I go in picture a persons likes in my mind. And I start looking at things, the problem is, I am most comfortable with my likes, and I don’t gather shop often, because of this is a weakness. I see things I like, and then I must have them. Today while shopping for other people (in theory) I got a big care bear, markers, a pair of shoes, a cd, lipstick, a book, moisturizer, bath accessories, stickers and muffin pans. I did not remember buying all these things until I got home, and realized there were about twice as many gifts for me, as for other people. I was having so much fun shopping, I just got carried away. I now feel sort of like a selfish ass. But I should just get over it, and be happy with all my lovely gifts. :-/
Here are the shoes……



Converse, $9.99. Wow…pink…

I also got this great little fiberoptic Christmas tree. It was up less than 10 minutes before Donnie (my cat who has pica) was throwing up. And don’t think I just let him nom it. I got him down about 15 times in that 10 minutes. I put the tree part in the laundry room, and it will only be up when I feel like keeping guard. At least he threw up, the ribbon he ate a few days ago has still not show back up. Pica is stupid. I have mostly got him to stop eating paint, so that is a plus.
I am bored today. Puck is working until 9:30 tonight, Jeff is doing something with Vivian. So it is just me and the pride of kittens (who it is currently nap time for). I think I will finish wrapping gifts. Then maybe nap too.

I had to go to the unemployment office today. Meh. It is depressing, most of the people I started with are still there. Seems no one can get a job. I am getting so tried of looking, normally job hunting does not get me down, but this is getting lame. After the unemployment thing I just came home and got back in bed. The kittens got in bed with me and we slept until 1 pm. They are all still sleeping, and I am thinking about doing the same, they look so cozy and happy.

I am sort of depressed I guess. I don't want to talk to anyone, or go out. It took Puck being super pushy to get me to go to decomp. I just want to stay home, and sleep. I like cleaning and baking too, but that is about it. Maybe it is just the start of winter that is making it suck. (if it gets down to 27 it is winter, I don't care where the sun is)

I am not cooking thanksgiving and I have no money to do much for christmas. The reason all these holidays fall this time of the year is so we can stay busy, so we don't realize how much it all sucks. Meh I say to you, meh.

Hi, this is an important issue to me, and perhaps to you too. This green cemetery is in serious trouble, and can use our help. Here is the message I got from the owner.....

"Dear Friends and Family -I am sending this message to ask for your support. Most of you know that the Bibb County Commission has passed a "Cemetery Ordinance" which effectively blocks our natural cemetery project on Davis Road in East Bibb County.

We need to let them know that we have numbers of people who support our project.
You can help us by calling or writing. You don't have to be a resident of Bibb County to have an interest in our project.

Bibb County Commission
601 Mulberry Street
Macon Georgia 31201
(478) 749-6400

The points are:
1) I support green burial and Summerland Natural Cemetery.
2) Please repeal the new Cemetery Ordinance that is blocking the natural cemetery project in East Bibb County.

Please pass this along to anyone else who may be interested.
Thank you!
Love - Beth"

Here is a link to the website, check it out...
http://www.summerlandnaturalcemetery.com/index.html

and here is a link to information about the law, really, these people are sort of insane, http://www.macon.com/198/story/515312.html
even if you don't have plans to be buried in Bibb county, this might be of interest as they are planning to push for state wide laws of the same vein.

I am a hermit. sorry.

I will be at decomp.

Let's see:

I am still job hunting, the market is shit.
I am still chunky.
My garden hates this weather.
I agree with my garden.
I am a bit depressed, but like all things it will pass.
My cats are huge.
I am getting the divorce thing taken care of finally, I think I can do it without a lawyer.
I have no motivation today, so I should not have come on line, as now I am goofing off.

I was counting money from my pay for the CPA exam fund yesterday, and cheeseburger did a dragon impersonation.

My Puck is so cute in his happy. Chicago is really loud.

I am looking out the window, right on to the stage Barack Obama is going to walk out on to in a few hours. I am so excited!!! We are going to dinner soon, then back here for the big night.

I have so much to tell you about Chicago, and lots of pictures to post. Puck and I will be back in Atlanta tomorrow.

Not having a job was kind of fun for a little while. Now it is just not anymore. I don't have health insurance, and that is really, really freaking me out. I am not going to be able to get my medicine this month. :-( I am get a very small amount of money ever week from unemployment, which is taking care of my bills, but I can't pay Puck rent, which makes me feel very bad.

I applied for several more jobs today, but nothing seems to be panning out from all my other leads.

I have lots of other things on my mind, but this is the only thing I feel like talking about right now.

ok, bye.