Log in

On Dating

So I meet a guy on OKCupid who seems really cool and interesting. He is an opera singer, a geek, and rather smart. He is quite interested in me. And yet I am not excited about the date. From my conversations with him, I can tell he is interested in sex, and that is not a problem by itself. It is the knowing someone is interested in having sex with me, and going on a date with them that is the problem. The whole thought of it makes me nervous and a bit angry. Like I already feel like I am being pressured. He talked about some sexual things on the phone, more than I felt comfortable with on a first phone call, but not by any means phone sex. He just emailed me and said something about looking forward to getting to know me "intimately". I know he was just being cute, but I don't like the assumption.

I like getting to know a person as friends or in a social group setting. Getting to learn things about them and find out if I like them before I want to have sex with them. I don't like one on one pressure filled dating. I thought I would, I really did. But pretty much every "date" I have had has sucked.

So what do you think I should do?

Cancel with this guy all together and ignore him until he loses interest?
Cancel this date, but invite him to something social?
Go on the date, but try to not let it all get to me, and try to have fun?
Go on the date, and just play the stupid game that leads to awkward sex?

Also he wants to do a two part date, dinner then go to Meddlesome (live karaoke band). This implies that I will have to get in a car with him. I don't want to get in a car with a stranger, it freaks me out.



Hi, is there anyone still on here? I know lots of people have moved their blogs over to other things. I was thinking about posting on live journal again, if I can remember to. But if there are no reader I might not bother.


Still no job.
Engaged to Puck.
My cats are wonderful.
I went to Montreal and Disney this month, and both were wonderful.


So my 30th Birthday is coming up, and there should be several celebrations of one sort of another. One of which will be a dinner, to which anyone who wants to come is invited. Keep in mind, that big group dinners like this, sometimes restaurants are weird, and will not break up the check, or take several cards, so bring cash, unless I check and find out otherwise.

My Birthday is July 3rd, which falls on a Friday.

What day could you make it to a dinner?

Thursday July 2
Friday July 3
Saturday July 4
Sunday July 5

Where would you want to go?

Nakato (a Japanese place near Buckhead)
Happy Sumo (a Japanese place near Perimeter)
Medieval Times (at Discover Mills)
Dave and Busters (I have no idea which one would be best, I have never been)
Maggiano's (Near Perimeter)

If you have any other ideas for a good place to go, or a more interesting plan than just dinner, comment. I am open to suggestions. There also might be such birthday fun as going dancing, or an outdoors adventure. I will put a list of gifts I might want up here later, in case you feel the need to buy me something, keep in mind of course that gifts are not mandatory, unless you have sex with me.

Leeks and Tomorrow

Do you like leeks? Do you want some, especially if you live or work near me? I have leeks to give away, big, beautiful, green leeks. I have to thin the garden, but I really don't want to waste them. Also, I have parsley and cilantro if you want that.

On a completely unrelated note, we are going to the renfair tomorrow. I think I mean it this time. You can come if you want, it would be cool. You can even buy me a present.


So its the middle of he night, and I am very awake. I am not sure if this is because I am used to sleeping with Puck, and he is away (which would be sad, I don't want co-dependant sleep patterns), or(I tend to get a bit of insomnia around then, but this is a little early for that). Either way, I am awake, and bored. I would watch a movie on my ipod, but it is down stairs, and I just don't want to leave the bed right now. I guess I will go to Hulu after this. I have things on my mind too.


The interview went ok, but I am conflicted to if I would take the job if it was offered. The drive will be about an hour each way, best I can figure. Maybe more. And the guy who interviewed me seems to be one of those people don't matter types. The position I interviewed for is to replace two part-time people, and he told me he just let go the IT person, because it was cheaper to outsource. I get that, bottom line is king, but it made me feel uncomfortable. Also this is a 5 day a week, no working from home sort of thing, and I don't like being part of the problem. On the other hand, I really, really, really, really need a job. I can barely make it on the unemployment, which will be gone very soon. What I really would like is a job near emory, or in midtown, or anyplace near the train. Accounting, analyst, admin, data entry, clerical. I don't care what, or even so much how it pays, just that it is close.

Connection to people

I figured that once the winter was over I would start feeling more connected and interested in people. And I do a little, but not to the level I think is normal. I still find that I like being alone more than I ever have in years. Some of my friends had an all weekend party, and generally I would have been in for the long haul, instead I only went for about half a day, and I found myself a little uncomfortable with all the people. There were a few people I did not know, or that I just knew a little, and I had 0% urge to speak to them. I sort of feel disconnected from my friends too. There are several things that are making me feel this way, some of them leaving team poly, me not being a part of Alchemy this year, them making lots of new friends. I just feel sort of out of place. This is not, by the way, a cry for help or anything, just 4 AM thinking.

Future Career

I want to teach. I think that would be a good job for me. I like teaching and the schedule appeals to me. I loved being in school so much, I like semester, everything having a set end and beginning. Working in the cooperate world is not really my thing. I am going to do it again, because I need more experience, but after that, I am going to try teaching. I should have enough money to sign up for my CPA exam really soon (I have been saving here and there for a while now) after that I am going to do what needs to be done to get my Master's Degree. I am trying to pick between Accounting, Economics and Finance. With just a Master's in any of these fields, I should be able to teach at a smaller or community college at least on an adjunct level. Then I can work on a PhD. if I feel the need.

I wish the sun would come up. Awake and doing stuff in the dark feels weird.

Yays and Mehs

Yay- I have a job interview tomorrow
Meh-It is in Alpharetta

Yay-I made homemade yogurt this weekend
Meh-I wasted a bit of milk figuring it out.

Yay-My garden is doing grand.
Meh-All the rain pisses off my Strawberries

Yay-My house is close to clean finally
Meh-It will get dirty again

Yay-I should have time to work on crafts tonight and Friday.
Meh-That is because Puck is out of town, until Saturday.

Yay-I lost a few more pounds.
Meh-I was not even dieting, and frankly that pisses me off. I should loss weigh when dieting, and not when not dieting. But I hold steady or lose very little when I try hard sometimes. It is like my weigh is random.

Yay- I have several good stories written.
Meh- But not edited, so I can't send them to anyone yet.

Yay- My bills are nicely under control
Meh-Unemployment runs out really soon



Do any of you have potatoes with eyes in your pantry? I planted my potatoes a little to early, and they were thriving before that frost. For a while I thought they might still make it, but sadly, I think they are all dead now (my tomatoes, which looked horrible, bounced back just fine, go figure). I don't have much time to seed more potatoes, and I only have a few cranberry red from last year, that would be plantable. (I used all the promising ones the first time around, I am lucky I even held on to a few), so if anyone has a seeded potato or two they could spare, that would be really, really grand. I have eight spots for potatoes, and I would say I have maybe three candidates.


Doing something

I have been very inside myself. Everything I am doing is going on in my head. Lazy too. I watch tv, read, sometimes play on the internet, and that is about it. I don't get it, this lack of motivation and focus. Is it just because I don't have a job? Is it because it is winter. I am going to try to do things today, and blog about them, that way maybe knowing that others will know how lazy I am will make me work harder.

I am making curtains for my dining room and living room, I have done the first set (purple), now I will work on blue. The idea is different fabrics, colors, and thicknesses of strips.

Before: January 29 1:49pm

After same day 4:30pm


Thoughts for today

I have been getting my garden ready, which is much fun, and some hard work. I put some seeds in the little starter thing on Saturday, and the tomato ones are already so big that they need to be moved. They are tall and thin and ready to fall over, so I will get some soil, and move them to flats or starter pots tonight. What is up with that? I generally fail at going plants form seed for this reason, they grow up, way faster then they grow out, they can't support themselves and they fall over. I am hoping moving them, planting them all the way down fixes this. I very much need to finish my second set of side walk gardens this weekend, so I can plant in them in a few weeks. I know I am taking a risk starting so early, but if it works out, it will pay off, I will get tomatoes before it gets to hot and dry, so they will be lots and good quality. Or there will be a freeze and everything will die and I will have to restart the game.

Movies and TV
I saw Repo: The Genetic Opera a few days ago. It was quite good, I loved the costumes. And Anthony Head was amazing. I had only heard him sing on Buffy a few time, and I liked him there. Speaking of Buffy I have been watching that again, and I am in season 6, and still just as annoyed as I was the last time I watched it. How come the watchers council does not pay Buffy? They have tons of money, she puts her life on the line for their cause every day, so why don't they make up so fake organization, say she is the secretary and pay her lots of money, so she can keep being the slayer full time? It does not make sense for her to work fast food. Also why does Giles leave? The job of the watcher is to teach, help, and watch the slayer. He is supposed to say with her until she dies, and keep a journal of it for later watchers and slayers. They should send someone else if he does not want to do it, just for the journal part, it is like Joss knew where he was taking the show in Season 7, and decided not to bother with doing it correctly. Except for the sex scenes with Spike, Season 6 is horrible. Spike is they only thing that moves the story along, and Buffy spends most of her time whining and crying about him, flip floping between "I hate him, he is evil, I should not want him" and "It is wrong to use him". Why over think it Buffy? You have the lame even though you are my hero. I started watching Angel for the first time this week, and so far all I have to say is that sure is alot of Angel to deal with. I hear it gets better, but really a guy shots his teeth at someone.
Oh, started watching Citizen Kane last night, been putting that off for a while, because I was afraid it would be boring (lots of older movies are), but it is great so far, I am really interested in the story. I really wish I did not know the whole rosebud thing, that takes something away.

Job stuff

I am going to try to volunteer for the IRS doing taxes for low income people this year, but getting in touch with the right people is hard. I wish I had known about this sooner, it might be to late for me to get certified now. Nothing on the job front. I really thought something would come up in January, and it has not, and I feel sort of cheated. I know that is stupid, but it is how I feel. I feel like I did my part, so it should just happen. I put in the time at school, I made the good grades, I got the degree, I wrote the resume, I got some job experience, so now- Job. That is the way it works. Meh. I have been really, really depressed the last few weeks. I think it has more to do with this lack of job situation than anything else.




All we are
is dust
in the wind
- Ted Logan

To be great:
Feel great and act great
- Yogi Tea

Are you so busy fighting, that you can not see your own ship has set sail?
-Uncle Iro

Look ‘em right in the eye. Focus your power on ‘em, stare ‘em out. No one can out stare a witch, ‘cept a goat, of course.
-Granny Weatherwax

"Overcome evil with good, falsehood with truth, and hatred with love." - Peace Pilgrim